New person, same old mistakes

I don't understand the most words in my head. I have this feeling, but it's pure. Normally my head it's a totally mess, what can I say. I'm like that, I'm messy. If I do a list for the things that I can't controle myself, the first would be "life". Sounds pretty obvious right? I'm sorrounded by thoughts all the time. I'm not sure if I love my career, I usually try to escape but it's impossible. All my life I have been trying to understand myself and the things that make me happy, or kind of happy. In the first time of my life I feel that I'm not sad, either happy, but it's a thing isn't it? In my opinion it's difficult not to be sad, there are dreams and goals outside and we are so far away from them. That one of things that makes me really sad. I finally understand that im not the person who I need to be, I am the person that I want to be. I'm unique, so are you. And I like you for that.